Le rêve

Today I had my first dream in french! Or well, in kinda' french..I was moving to Paris to live in a family where I of course fell in love with the son. He just happened to know swedish because his grandma ou quelue chose comme ca was swedish. When he spoke to me in french I didn't seem to understand so unfortunately we stuck to swedish.

Pretty soon we went in to his bedroom where we kissed. But when I took of my t-shirt, his jewish mother came in, totally terrified at the fact that a girl was going to be half-naked in her house. She screamed and chased us around the yard. I think we escaped and suddenly we were on a tiny boat, in the middle of a waterfall where the water seemed to disappear more and more as the fall got deeper and deeper. Scary thing.

So, that's supposed to mean something or what?

FAILURE

During the last days, no less then three guys have stepped up asking: "WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE??" Pointing out what a failure I am. And they are so right!

I don't want to tell them that it's because I'm a DISGUSTING PERSON WHO NOBODY WOULD WANT so I'm smiling, saying oh well...."life is hard", as they're touching my most sensitive spot whispering "FAILURE" in my ear.

M-I-S-E-R-Y

Another day in semi-unemployment. I'm so not looking forward to my next salary, I mean what will it be???? 3.000 sek?? C'est au-dessous de moi!!!! = So below my dignity. I mean to stand all the horrible customers I should at least be paid twice the sum!!

Oh well, maybe the awful thing really is that I'm so wasting my free time. I'm constantly bored, and like play farmville even though I don't really like it anymore! The rest of time I try to read Ensemble c'est tout getting crushed over how many words I have to look up the definition for. And en plus, Iäve forbidden myself to shop, so I can't even buy myself happiness!! (Oh tomorrow I'm gonna buy a new pair of jeans-leggings but that's beside the point.) The only thing I really enjoy is the evenings when I'm chatting with my french friends. Though it isn't splendid for my self-esteem as I'm always feeling stupid for never ever getting fluent in french!

I guess this is more a ..transition waiting for Paris. But actually I'm afraid of screwing up that as well due to things I don't seem to be able to control, no matter how hard I try. That's misery or what????

Now I guess I'm gonna get back to my boring life, maybe clean the bathroom (which probably is not gonna happen). Things that really should be done is going for a walk listening to French songs in my ipod, and reading some French literature. That doesn't seem unmanageable but you never know.

M-I-S-E-R-Y!

List

Things to get done tomorrow:

1. Go for a walk

2. Tidy my room

3. Read "Ensemble c'est tout"

4. Buy a farmhouse in Farmville

5. Send my computer to the company I bought it from to get it fixed!! (but I dont want to leave iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit)


Guess that was it. Wouldn't I be a failure if I can't even accomplish those few things?? Well, on verra demain.

LIFE

Week-end over, and in fact, this one has been kind of crappy. Somehow, I don't enjoy loneliness as much as I used to, et en plus, watching series isn't that exciting anymore. At least I've been reading some french and chatted with a french guy. Oh, freeeench<3

Stupid like always, I also wrote a message on facebook to a french girl who is member of a group for LTU-students, and who I think I might have seen at forex. Haha, lol I'm such a stalker. She hasn't answered me yet but I really hope she will. If not, I'll be embarrassed.

Well, rien d'autre has happened, I worked some hours yesterday and all I got was two english-speaking customers. Vacation over = no more tourists. I hate that, just have to hope for the french LTU-students to come, but I haven't had much luck so far:/

I guess I have nothing more to say- I'm feeling kind of bitter and rancourous (gotta love the word) at the moment. So maybe I should stick to solitude as I'm likely to be a bitch to people....*LIFE*.

Ben, I'm still dreaming of good times ahead and hoping for everything to be wonderful in Paris - la ville d'amour. If not, I'm seriously gonna gonna consider laying in bed for the next few years.
Nan, but life is really unfair, je ne mérite pas ca!!!!!!!!!

Under the sun

Nothing new under the sun, or no I mean there is....!

I have finally made up my mind and applied to the course at Sorbonne! Today the registration fee will be transferred from my account so there is no going back! I didn't take the cancellation insurance for 250 sek (lol) but, honestly it was only valid with a doctor's certificat verifying serious disease, death in the family or stuff like that...And I aint even gonna contemplate the fact that something like that could happen. Lalalala.

Anyways, now Paris is ooooon. And Petter has ben so géntil and promised me somewhere to live the first weeks, if I can't find something on my own. Loves it, Sunderbybor stick togehter in hard times and filthy cities!! Haha.

Right now I'm doing my best to improve my french skills before I leave, but I mus say that sadly enough I find my progress kind of slow. Why can't I be a language genious who gets it all at once???

At least je viens de finir de lire Twilight Children (Les Enfants du Crépuscule) by Torey Hayden in french. 350 pages, and actually only took me about a week! Yay.

Well, I while ago Emma and I got together (it happens occasionally that we see each other outside Ica) and had som drinks at her place. We were planning to go to the new club, Tigerboys, opening at Cleo. Too make a long story short, we weren't the only ones to think so and we ended up going to bed at 1 am instead.

At least we looked fabulous for a while!


Right now I should really go do something, like read a book! But everything feels so boriiiiiiing. It doesn't even help to eat chocolate:/

Feels liked I've caught a minor depression, you know the way one catches a flu. Anyways, I might as well just be tired. Waking up at 6.30 am is so not my cup of tea.

A + ppl!