Post-Berlin depression

Ah this is so insane!

At first I was happy to come back to a clean country with comfy beds. But after an hour or so it totally changed. This has been going on for two days now and I seriously think that I've been hit by the post-travel depression, or maybe the post-Berlin depression. There seems to be no cure, other than going back. But I can't, I have to save money for Paris and I'm really looking forward to Paris..I mean that is so much more worth than a one-week trip. But right now...Paris seems so far away, It feels like...am I ever gonna get there? Will things get in the way? Will I find somewhere to live? Can't really sleep on the street...I know thinks can sort themselves out, I know I can make it if I really try...but...what if...

Work sucks. And that makes my coming home depression so much worse. Really I hate my job so much, I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown every day! I guess I'm weak. People have taken ever worse jobs to save money and fulfill their dreams...I just...can't think forward. I'm not the enduring person. Gotta work on that...at work.

The last days I've basically been doing nothing but staring at the wall. I haven't been tidying my room, written a CV, uploaded pictures from Paris, read Candide, read Blind willow Sleeping Woman. I managed to wath to weeds episodes. But that was it! No ER, just nothing nothing nothing. I ate 3 pieces of cake at work two days in a row but that resulted in nothing but a stomach ache. Som much for that.

But okay, tomorrow is time for change. Gonna get up with a smile after a good night's sleep, meet a friend and then do some important stuff. Maybe I should write a list. Yeh, that might be good. Whatever, so long mes amis.

Oh, one more think! I guess all og you have noticed that I think of changing my name. I have never liked my name: Tove, I am not ashamed of it as I was as a kid, I just don't think it's pretty. And in addition to that it is really a bitch to pronounce for non-swedish-speaking persons. Oh well so my alternatives are: Linnéa (shich is my second name). Linnéa is more beautiful I think, and my parents are totally okay with me taking that name. Though Linnéa is also difficult to say for foreigners but maybe it sounds a little more beautiful that Tove when they try:P My other alteratives are Ellinor and Eléonore. It's kind of the same name just different ways of spellings. Eléonore looks most beautiful but it's kind of long and a little complicated. And I think Ellinor is more beautiful to say..Maybe it's a good thing to keep a swedish touch on on'es name? I am not ashamed of Sweden. I just find it boring.